26 Reasons why I make so much stuff (an A-Z!)

Photo by The Mollusc Dimension. ID: Selfie photo of The Mollusc Dimension, an East-Asian person with dark eyes and straight dark facial hair. He is wearing a black homberg hat, a black trans pride t shirt, altered black jacket, dramatic dark eye liner and a shiny black, geometric necklace. He is holding his hands out towards the camera in a “well here we are” kind of way.

If you ever wondered why or how I make so much stuff, this A-Z might interest you.

ARTIST- I am one!

BOREDOM BOAST - I can create out of anything! Creating involves problem-solving and while there are different ways for different people, creativity is vastly undervalued as a tool for public wellbeing.

COPING MECH - when feeling anxious or depressed, creating gives me a road to talk on. Making lists on random topics is one of my coping mechanisms.

DELAY - there was one. As an AFAB, chinese british-born gen x, queerness has been denied me at school, home and society. I’m finally catching up with myself.

ENERGY - creating is transforming. My energy is transformative.

FRIENDS - help me believe in the “impossible” and have the wisdom to break it down into steps.

GAS LIGHTING - I have a PhD in it.*

HABITS - this year taught me I am capable of forming new habits.

IMAGINATION - my superpower.

JOY - all living beings deserve joy. Making and sharing what I make gives me joy.

KID - creating helps me connect with my inner child. Authenticity, fearlessness, a time before I got so jaded!

LIMINAL - art allows us to cross into other worlds.

MUSIC - often I prefer playing music to talking to strangers (and friends), so I can efficiently express myself and observe them better.

NOW - is my time. It was always my time.

OPEN HEARTED - the word for “happy“ in Cantonese translates as “open hearted”.

POWER - I connect to the power of those who came before me, those who surround me and those who I may not yet sense but may be aware of me and I of them.

QUEER - we exist. Homophobia & binary gender traps are white colonialist exports.

RACISM - I just woke up to how much I’ve internalised.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT - that’s one reason why I prefer to do everything myself. It’s not sustainable though and I want to change this!

TRANSFORMATIVE TRUTH - I feel like people wanted to hear me play piano only but I have many forms and genres in which to speak.

UNDERSTANDING - when I make stuff I find out how I feel, I process and I attain more self-knowledge.

VENT - art provides a non-violent and healthful way to express intense feelings.

WORKAHOLISM - a form of addiction that goes undetected!

XPRESSION - the arts express what feels “inexpressible” in everyday speech/ words.

Y - art is why I exist.

ZZZZ - I have insomnia. I wake up with ideas spat to the side of my head like debris after a wash cycle.

Some questions I’m asking myself… Feel free to answer them too…

Why do you create?
What might you wish to create if money, time and energy were no obstacle?
How might you create something with what you have around you?

FLUIDITY

When marginalised people make the decision to change their lives for the better, (e.g. changing: names, pronouns, the way we dress, jobs, partners and other choices), it is sometimes weaponised as weakness. Yet something that leaders do all the time is use change or rather the lack of it to control in immensely damaging ways.

I wrote this list today, but tomorrow my list might be different. There are some things that need to be very carefully considered and have longevity, while some things will be in flux - and breathe and grow like our skin, our minds and relationships with ourselves and each other.

*I’m joking. I don’t have a PhD in Gas lighting - YET!

Mental health resources that might be helpful

THERAPY

BAATN - The Black, African and Asian therapy network (UK)

Pink Therapy - Gender and Sexual Diversity Therapy in the UK

UK HELPLINES

Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline: 0300 330 0630

Mind Infoline: 0300 123 3393

Samaritans: Call 116 123

If you are not UK based, or if these options don’t work for you, please search for a support line that you can use where you are.

Music

Below is “Silver Lining”, a video of a dreamy piano piece I composed inspired by nature clips by Ludo Foster. The clips appear in the video. A blog on collaborating with some art by Ludo is coming soon!

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